Life is full of surprises, or so the old saying goes. No one can predict the direction their life might take, given all the twists and turns along that path. Obviously, no one thinks at the start of a marriage that divorce is in their future. Because of that, many people are caught off guard when it happens to them, I know I was!
So how do you respond when a 20 plus year marriage comes to an end? I mean after the crying, and the questioning, and the heartbreak and such...what do you do with your time when you find yourself suddenly single? I realize that the amount of time you have will be largely dependent on your age and the age of your children, your vocation and other factors. For me, I found that I had more time on my hands than I wanted.
Because of my divorce, my career was in flux (realistically you cannot remain the Pastor of Family & Care Ministry while your own marriage has fallen apart), so in the beginning, I had no place to go from 9-5 each day.
Additionally, three of my four children were out of high school, and my youngest, while living with me was busy being an active high school student. Most of my friends were married and had their own lives. I was not yet ready to start dating and I am not a barfly. So what did I do? I spent a LOT of time by myself.
Think about it, all the things you were used to doing, like watching TV, or going to a movie or going out to dinner, you generally had a built in companion to do it with. Now it is just you. I have often joked with my friends that the loneliest words in the world are "Jim, party of one, Jim, party of one!" Yeah, I eat out too much!