Get Your Bad Boy On!

I am convinced that despite their protestations to the contrary, all women are attracted to "bad boys." These two studies described at Live Science seem to explain why this might be the case. I am not sure that I completely buy their conclusions, but it is interesting nonetheless. The reason I am suspicious is because even when women no longer ovulate or they are no longer fertile, they still seem to be drawn to the bad boys. I tend to think it is built into the DNA (evidence of the fall maybe?).

The thing I found ironic about the second study is that it points to the fact that most women think that she and only she can be the one to change the bad boy.

The researchers followed up that find with a second study in which women interacted directly with male actors who played the roles of sexy cad and reliable dad once during ovulation and again at low fertility. Again, ovulating women thought that the sexy cad — but not the reliable dad — would contribute more to childcare, but only as her partner (not if he shacked up with another woman).

"When asked about what kind of father the sexy bad boy would make if he were to have children with another woman, women were quick to point out the bad boy's shortcomings," said Durante. "But when it came to their own child, ovulating women believed that the charismatic and adventurous cad would be a great father to their kids."

We men certainly have our inherent faults, so I'm not trying to pick on the ladies. It's just that men and women are both predictable. We men freely admit to our predictability. We have no problem acknowledging that we are single-minded and shallow when it comes to women. Women however, don't want to admit that they are predictable. They will go to the ends of the earth to prove they are not, but when it comes down to it, they act instinctually as females in very predictable ways. Not the least of which is that they think they can be the one to change the bad boy.

I thought this debate was very interesting  I was surprised by the fact that it was the female that argued you can't change a bad boy and the male argued that you could! Warning: this is an adult/secular conversation about dating, but I think there are some very good points they make about men and women and the psychology of relationships in general.



I think that the bottom line is that both men and women alike seem to have tremendous difficulty distinguishing between what makes the opposite sex attractive and what makes an individual member of the opposite sex a wise choice as a mate. Those two concepts are not always, and probably rarely congruent. Sexy cad or reliable dad? Are they really the only two choices that women have? And, what can nice guys do about it?

Here's my word to you men. Get your bad boy on! No, I don't mean that you should become a jerk or a member of a motorcycle gang, but I do think you should look in the mirror and ask yourself, what do you see? Is there a man looking back at you? Is there an inner sexy cad just waiting to break out? Set aside for the moment any hormonal or ovulational reasons that women might be attracted to bad boys, and ask yourself what is it about a bad boy that is so appealing to women? First and foremost I think women are attracted to a man's confidence. Women will say they hate cockiness in a guy, but it has been my observation that the cockiest guys are the ones with the most dates. Here's the thing though, this is not something you can fake, it needs to be real or the ladies will sniff it out and then you will be the object of their derision.

The key to confidence guys is to just be yourself. Learn to be comfortable in your own skin. Don't be afraid to be a man. Take a class on leadership. Learn how to repair or build something. Don't ever apologize or be ashamed for being a male. Again, you don't have to be a jerk or mean or abusive, that is NOT what being a man is all about. Being a man is about courage, hard work, faithfulness, duty, honor and many other qualities. If you're married, be a leader in your house. Make your wife and children feel secure. Make your wife feel cherished. Talk to her. Fix the broken sink in the bathroom. Help her out of the car, open the door for her. Hug her. Grab her and kiss her, OFTEN. Be a reliable dad AND her sexy cad! Be her bad boy!

For you single guys, develop your confidence. Start living your life "out loud." Learn to be interesting. Go where the ladies are and be the most charming guy there. Demonstrate your character and value in your actions. Again, don't be a phony, just be yourself, and...be the man! Let the ladies see that you're worthy of their attention...you bad boy you!

Saturday Night Video Theme: Let's Kiss

Someone recently asked me if I kiss on the first date? Since I don't kiss (or not) and tell, I will instead say...

I don't feel the need to give such secrets away
You think maybe I need help though I know i am right, all right
I'm just better off not listening to friends advice

When they insist on knowing my bliss, I tell them this
When they want to know what the reason is
I only smile when I lie, then I tell them why

Because your kiss, your kiss is on my list

On the other hand I have been told before to, "shut up and kiss me!"

Tom Jones does Prince: "Kiss"

 Sixpence None the Richer: "Kiss Me"

I am not a big Faith Hill fan, but she is easy on the eyes..."This Kiss"

Husky Highlights - "All I Saw Was Purple"

It is no secret that I am a huge Washington Husky football fan. I grew up listening to the Husky football games on the radio and have fond memories of hearing the broadcasts while in my room at home. I was hooked for life.

When we moved from Yakima, Washington to Wasco, California in January of 1990, one of the first things I noticed was that I was no longer in Husky land. Most every one here were either USC or UCLA fans. In fact, I had some new "friends" that were "in-your-face" USC fans. Their arrogance really irritated me. I couldn't wait until football season so that the Dawgs could (hopefully) shut them up!

The University of Washington football program had been revived by Don James in the late 70s and for most of the 80's they had been a dominant Pac-8 team. However, in the latter part of the 80s they faltered and the program seemed to be floundering a bit. So going into the decade of the 90s there were doubts about the direction the program was headed. Late in the 80s Coach James had revamped his staff, his defensive philosophy and particularly his recruiting strategy (with a greater focus on athleticism and speed). There were hints that these changes were going to pay-off, especially in the last half of the 89 season when the Dawgs closed with several blow-outs, including a 34-7 drubbing of the University of Florida Gators in the 1989 Freedom Bowl. A Florida team that featured future Hall of Fame running back Emmit Smith. Still, no one really knew how dominant this team would become. That is, until USC traveled to Husky stadium.

It was September 22, 1990 and the conference opener for both teams. USC came in ranked #5 in the country but that would soon change as the Dawgs took apart the Trojans in the game. A game that would be known as the All I saw was purple game, when "Robo" quarterback Todd Marinovich uttered the words that ultimately defined the era of Husky defensive football: "All I saw was purple, that's all. No numbers, just purple."

The Dawgs would go on to three straight Rose Bowls and win a share of the National Title in 1991. Oh, and by the way, my new friends did shut up! Enjoy the video.

What the #$%^%&**&^%$#@#$% Did You Say?

True story, while in Bible College I worked at a place called Kwikset Lockset along with several other students from the school. It was a good place to work  and it was good money for a poor struggling college student. Since none of us single guys owned a car, we had to carpool with one or two of the married guys. One Friday night after work, on the way home from Anaheim, we stopped to get gas at a station on Walnut just off the 57 freeway in Fullerton. Since the driver was pumping the gas, my friend Pete and I went in to the station/mini-mart to get something to drink. While we were inside standing in line, a very large and apparently drunk gentleman in front of us was being belligerent with the clerk. He very loudly yelled at the clerk, "give me the blankety blank" cigarettes! Not one to let an opening like that go without comment, my friend Pete said, loud enough so that everyone could hear, "I didn't know they made that brand!" Now if you know my friend Pete, you would know that his comment was meant to be funny but it was also a sarcastic way of making a point about the large (have I mentioned this guy was big?) man's language in public.

Les Miserables Pt. 5

This clip contains some of the best songs in the show, including, "Red and Black" and "Do You Hear the People Sing?" My favorite though, is "Stars" because it once again illustrates the contrast between Jean Valjean and Javert, mercy and legalism. If you listen to the words of the song (or read the subtitles) you will see just how legalistic Javert is. He is self-righteous. Though he sings of falling from grace, he has no idea what grace really is.

The Bakcground: A street gang led by the Thénardiers prepares to ambush Valjean, whom Thénardier recognizes as the man who took Cosette. Éponine sees Marius, whom she secretly loves, and warns him to stay away, but Marius accidentally bumps into Cosette and immediately falls in love. Javert thwarts the Thénardiers' attempt to rob Valjean and Cosette, not recognising Valjean until after he escapes. Javert gazes at the night sky, comparing his hunt of Valjean and justice to the order of the stars. Meanwhile, Marius, although he does not know Cosette's name, persuades a reluctant Éponine to help him find her.

The scene then shifts to a political meeting in a small café where Enjolras leads a group of idealistic students to prepare for a revolution that they believe will materialise after General Lamarque's death. Marius arrives late and when Gavroche brings the news of the General's death, the students march into the streets.

MARCONI UNION - WEIGHTLESS

Scientists discover the most relaxing tune ever.

Click on the link below to listen.

MARCONI UNION - WEIGHTLESS

What do you think?

Past - Passed

There are some people that just write well. I have a few friends on Facebook that always seem to write a comment in a way that reads smoothly. It makes me jealous because I feel like my writing needs a great deal of work. In my efforts to become a better writer, I often struggle with the proper usage of grammar. There are so many grammar rules in the English language that it takes hard work to remember them all (not an easy task for an old guy like me!). I am not sure I will ever get the I / Me rule down pat. However, I do want to improve, so I often do a little research to refresh my memory on how to properly use certain words and phrases. The most recent question I had related to the correct way to use Past / Passed.

Here is a good link to help explain the difference.

The general rule is this: "Passed" is the past tense of "to pass." For everything else, use "past."

Another way to remember. "Passed" is a verb, while "past" can be an adjective, noun, adverb or preposition. So when trying to decided whether to use "passed" or "past" ask yourself whether you are using the word as a verb or not.

You can test yourself in this paragraph by determining whether you should you use "passed" or "past?"

Bonzo, the youngest marmoset in the new compound, delighted onlookers in the town’s zoo on Saturday. Just minutes into his first public appearance, Bonzo passed / past a banana to his mother, who peeled it and passed / past it back. With new banana in hand, Bonzo ran excitedly passed / past his father who deftly whipped Bonzo’s lunch out of his young paw. Bonzo’s mother released a reprimanding yell, at which point, Bonzo’s father passed / past the banana back to Bonzo.

The correct answers are:

Bonzo passed a banana to his mother
who peeled it and passed it back
Bonzo ran excitedly past his father
Bonzo's father passed the banana back to Bonzo

Here's another test.

The passed / past has a habit of repeating itself. In a carbon copy of last year’s final, the young Argentinean blasted the ball passed / past the post after being awarded a penalty in the last minute. Visibly distraught, he removed his captain’s armband and passed / past it to Wells. He stormed off the pitch, walking straight passed / past his manager without so much as a glance.

The correct answers are:

The past has a habit of repeating itself
the young Argentinean blasted the ball past the post
he removed his captain's armband and passed it to Wells.
walking straight past his manager

Please remember I am in no way claiming to be a grammar expert. I just want to share with you what I am learning in my efforts to becoming a better writer. Now that I passed these tips to you, I hope I can get past my fear of making a fool of myself in my writing!

Classic Rush Vol. 3

This is one of my favorite Rush videos, it really captures the unique look and sound that was Rush in the 70s (when many of us became their fans). If you have seen the DVD Rush: Beyond the Lighted Stage you'll see that the power trio is made up of three pretty normal guys...three very talented but normal guys. This song has a wonderful sound musically and is lyrically interesting.  

Start a new chapter, I find what I'm after
It's changing every day
The change of a season is enough of a reason
To want to get away

Quiet and pensive, my thoughts apprehensive
The hours drift away
Leaving my homeland, playing a lone hand
My life begins today

Fly by night away from here
Change my life again
Fly by night, goodbye my dear
My ship isn't coming and I just can't pretend
My ship isn't coming and I just can't pretend

On Blended Families

I don't know how it works for every blended family, but for mine, the whole "blended" thing has been both a blessing and a struggle. Most of you know that I have always endeavored to be open and transparent in my life. I do realize however, that my transparency has sometimes been cathartic for me but painful for others. I also realize that by sharing my thoughts and heart about this subject in this post, I run the risk of offending one or more of my own family members. Be assured though, that is not my intention. So out of respect for my family, "the names have been changed to protect the innocent!"

Whenever I try to explain the make-up of my family, I always preface it by telling them that I have the quintessential American family. I have two biological sisters, two step-sisters and two half-brothers...no...really I do! Throw in two moms and two dads and I am a sociologists dream come true!

Just a little background. My biological parents were separated and eventually divorced when I was young (around third grade - about 9 years old). My dad retained custody of me and my two biological sisters (around 7 and 4 years old). I don't remember much about that time but I do remember that during my third grade year I attended three schools and moved twice. We moved from Washington State to Missouri to live with my maternal grandparents and then we moved from Missouri back to Yakima to live with my paternal grandparents. For my fourth grade year we moved to Ellensburg, Washington when my paternal grandparents decided to live there.

During this time my dad met my future step-mother (with her two daughters) and eventually they decided to marry. Once more we moved to Yakima to began the life together as a blended family. I now had two biological sisters and two step-sisters. Later my dad and step-mom would add a half-brother to the fold, and my biological mother and my step-father would add another half-brother to their new family. So there was me, the oldest, a step-sister that was in the same grade as I was but six-months younger. There was my oldest biological sister who was almost exactly one year younger than me, then my youngest biological sister who was three years younger and then my youngest step-sister who was about nine years younger than me...and I am not even going to try to remember how far apart my paternal half-brother is from me.

Whew...I almost want to break out in song..."Here's the story, of a man named Wheeler, who was busy with three kids of his own..."

Unlike the Brady Bunch however, the new blended family brought with it many difficult years of transition, especially for the six children that now made up the "Wheelers." First, there were the issues related to names, since my two step-sisters came from my step-mother's two previous marriages, they both had different last names. I always felt awkward being in the same class as my step-sister and having to try to explain why her last name was different than mine (and I'm sure the same was true for her as well). I'll never forget when my youngest step-sister, still trying to come to terms with the family dynamics, thought she had it all figured out. In her mind it made sense because her biological dad was now married to a woman with the same first name as my biological mom. So to her, it just seemed to make sense that the men just traded wives! (That's the way I remember the story anyway).

Bryan Duncan - When it Comes to Love

I can only go by what's happened to me
And now I realize when it comes to love

You're gonna cry a little, hurt a little
Feel a little pain in your heart
Laugh a little, care a lot
Take a look at what you've got
It's true we're human, we make mistakes, but
We're gonna live to see a brighter day
So do what you gotta do, what you gotta do

When it comes to love I just wanna have it all
It's not something you can buy
In any store
Someone to trust that's what I'm lookin' for
I'm gonna open up my heart and ask you
To open yours 

50 Years of Government Spending

I came across this very interesting graph, from the National Public Radio (NPR) website. I know what you're thinking, but let it never be said that This Jim is too conservative to post an item from the VERY liberal NPR!

It clearly illustrates the problem that we have in dealing with the budget deficit. After defense (which has shrunk considerably as a percentage of the budget), Social Security, Medicare and Safety Net programs make-up nearly half of the budget. Clearly something is going to have to be done with those three programs if we are going to get serious about cutting the budget. Good luck with that! I think we could start with means-testing Social Security. I would rather see the wealthy lose their Social Security benefits than see their taxes raised. Why? Because raising taxes on the wealthy will not significantly improve the budget situation and it will harm the economy (while also giving the politicians more money to spend instead of cutting the budget). On the other hand, taking away their Social Security benefits will immediately lower the size of the Social Security budget and minimally impact the investment power of the wealthy. What we need for the economy to get going again is more incentive for people to invest and be productive.

How Do I Love Thee?

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. 

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height 

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight 

For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.

I love thee to the level of everyday's 

Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight. 

I love thee freely, as men strive for Right; 

I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.

I love thee with the passion put to use 

In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith. 

I love thee with a love I seemed to lose 

With my lost saints,--I love thee with the breath, 

Smiles, tears, of all my life!--and, if God choose, 

I shall but love thee better after death. 

by Elizabeth Barrett Browning
 

Les Miserables Pt. 4

The next scene occurs in an inn at Montfermeil run by the Thénardiers, where Cosette (Fantine's daughter) has been living. The Thénardiers have been abusing the little girl, while indulging their own daughter, Éponine. Cosette dreams of a better life. She sings the wonderful song "Castle on a Cloud" before Madame Thénardier sends her to get some water in the dark. As the inn fills for the evening, the Thénardiers cheat their customers in various ways as humorously bragged about in the song "Master of the House." Valjean now on the run from Javert, finds Cosette getting water and begins to bargain with the Thénardiers, ultimately paying them 1,500 Francs to let him take her away (thus fulfilling his promise to Fantine).

The musical them skips ahead nine years to Paris where the city is in upheaval because General Lamarque, the only man in the government who shows mercy to the poor, is ill and may soon die. The young "street urchin" Gavroche mingles with the prostitutes and beggars on the street, while students Marius Pontmercy and Enjolras discuss the general's imminent demise in the song "Look Down".

Doing One Thing at a Time

Okay, I'll admit it...I am a man...as in male, and I do NOT like to multi-task. Unfortunately, with my job I am often required to do so, working on several projects during the day. I remember reading somewhere that it takes 15-20 minutes to get refocused when you switch back and forth between projects (I am looking for the link to that article but can't seem to find it). That's why when I came across this article by Tony Scwartz discussing the dangers of trying to do too many things at the same time for too long, I wanted to share it.

The article called "The Magic of Doing One Thing at a Time" is very insightful. Schwartz says:

What we've lost, above all, are stopping points, finish lines and boundaries. Technology has blurred them beyond recognition. Wherever we go, our work follows us, on our digital devices, ever insistent and intrusive. It's like an itch we can't resist scratching, even though scratching invariably makes it worse.

I find myself lacking technological boundaries in my life. Whether it is my personal cell phone, my computer at work or some other electronic device, I find that I am usually over-attached to the activities of others. Ironically, during those times that I am alone in the office working on a project with no music or other noise in the background, the quiet almost seems eerie. In fact, I don't like it! However, it is in those times of silence, that I seem to be the most productive.

Schwartz has some good advice on how to fuel better productivity for both managers and individuals.

For managers he suggests the following:

1. Maintain meeting discipline.

Have you ever been in a meeting that was supposed to last 30 minutes but goes 90 minutes instead? I can promise you that nothing kills productivity in your employees more than undisciplined, unnecessarily long meetings. I know from my own personal experience that once the meeting goes 15 minutes over its scheduled length I am no longer tuned-in and focused. Why? Because I am thinking about the three other projects sitting on my desk that are due tomorrow. I am thinking about the other four meetings I have scheduled for the week and I am getting angry that you are wasting my time! You can usually tell when a meeting goes too long because the cell phones and other digital devices start coming out. If you're going to waste my time, I might as well answer my emails and respond to my text messages. Particularly, the texts from my colleagues who are sending each other messages about how horribly over-time you are on the meeting!

2. Stop demanding or expecting instant responsiveness at every moment of the day.

What's the old saying? "Failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part." Nothing frustrates employees more than being required to drop a project they are intensely focusing on in order to deal with some suddenly urgent project. There have been a few times when I have had to ask a supervisor which "urgent" project was the most "urgent!" I like a challenge, and I can work on the fly with the best of them. But when this type of thing becomes the norm, it can be very disheartening.

3. Encourage renewal.

Schwartz recommends creating "at least one time during the day when you encourage your people to stop working and take a break." I have been fortunate that in the last three places I have worked I have been able to get out of the office from time to time, whether it was to do something work-related (but different) or whether it was just taking a walk around the building for a few minutes. Those times have allowed me to stretch, relax and get re-focused so that I could finish the project I was working on. The older I get the more I like the idea of a siesta! I'm trying to figure out a way I can get that one passed my Board.

For individuals he recommends the following:

1. Do the most important thing first in the morning,

2. Establish regular, scheduled times to think more long term, creatively, or strategically.

3. Take real and regular vacations.

It's really up to us as individuals to establish these boundaries for ourselves so that we can be productive and satisfied in our jobs.

My Results for the 2012 Presidential Election Quiz

My Results for the 2012 Presidential Election Quiz

Classic Rush Vol. 2

Known primarily as a progressive rock band, this is a rare Rush song with a bluesy feel and it's one of my favorites. The songs on the self-titled first album were largely influenced by the style of both Led Zeppelin and Cream. They were also written without the participation of Neil Peart who did not join the band until the album had been completed. Once Peart joined Rush, the band would begin to develop it's progressive sound.

For Mothers and Others...

Anna May Jarvis, quote:

“Mother’s Day has nothing to do with candy.  Candy is junk. You give your mother a box of candy and then go home and eat most of it yourself. . . .”

Anna May Jarvis, quote:

“A maudlin, insincere printed card or a ready-made telegram means nothing except that you’re too lazy to write to the woman who has done more for you than anyone else in the world.  You ought to go home and see your mother on Mother’s Day.  You ought to take her out and paint the town red. . . .”

Anna May Jarvis, still quoting now:

“You ought to give her something useful, something permanent.  A lot of mothers are sleeping on mattresses that are as hard as rocks.  Maybe she needs new eyeglasses, comfortable shoes, a pair of slippers, or better lighting fixtures.  Is she sleeping warm at night?  Could she use an eiderdown?  Maybe the stairs in her home need fixing. . . .”

What about flowers, Anna May?

“Flowers are about half dead by the time they’re delivered.”

And Anna May goes on to say that she won’t rest “until Mother’s Day becomes the personal family Memorial Day it was intended to be.”

If anyone had the right to speak out against the commercialization of Mother’s Day, it was Anna May Jarvis.  That second Sunday of thoughtfulness each and every May was Anna’s idea in the first place.

Anna May Jarvis was the Mother of Mother’s Day.  Anna May Jarvis, born May 1, 1864.

She was a minister’s daughter, described as a quiet, studious girl in school who liked everyone and whom everyone liked.

Anna was just two weeks forty-two, working for a life insurance company in Philadelphia, when her mother died on the second Sunday of May, 1906.

Friends noticed a change in Anna in the months following that unhappy occasion.  No longer the gentle, easy-going woman they knew, Anna became obsessed with but one desire:  to see her mother and motherhood honored annually throughout the world.

After more than a year of careful planning, Anna arranged the first Mother’s Day church service – May 10, 1908 – at St. Andrew’s Methodist Church in Grafton, West Virginia, where Anna’s mother had taught Sunday school.

Anna worked hard to promote her idea.  A year after that first memorial service in West Virginia, Philadelphia became the first city to proclaim an official Mother’s Day.

Cussin', Smokin', Drinkin' and Dancin'

Any good Baptist (active or recovering) can name the four big vices of cursing, smoking, drinking and dancing. Over my life I have heard numerous sermons on all four (plus a fifth vice...gambling). I may have even mentioned a few of them over the years in my own sermons (although I really did try to stay away from being too legalistic about those issues).

I don't drink alcohol, not because I have anything against it per se and I don't judge others for imbibing. In fact, if you drink you should love me since I am the perfect friend to have...I am the ideal designated driver (when we go out you'll never have to feel bad that you're drinking and I'm not!). I don't drink for several reasons. First, I genuinely don't like the taste of alcohol. A few of my friends and even my sons have tried to get me to have a beer with them and every time I taste one my response is the same...I just don't get it. Second, since I have an ongoing struggle with my weight, I would rather get my calories from what I eat rather than what I drink. Most alcoholic beverages are are heavy in carbohydrates and sugars, and I religiously watch my carb intake...so I avoid alcoholic beverages. Third, I am too cheap to drink! I have been out a few times with friends at bars (usually to listen to live music) and at the end of the night when the tab is due, I am always thankful that I didn't spend the night ordering the $5 beers, the $7 vodka and cranberries and the $9 margaritas! Finally, I have seen the effects that alcohol can have on some people and I would rather not take a chance at possibly drinking too much and losing control. I don't know anyone that drinks that hasn't been drunk at least once...I am afraid I might turn out to be a mean drunk! Or, maybe it's the poem I memorized when I was younger:

Late one night in October,

when I was far from being sober,

I was walking down the road full of manly pride,

when my feet began to stutter,

and I fell down in the gutter,

and a pig came near and lay down by my side.

Well a lady passing by was heard to say,

"you can tell a man who boozes,

by the company he chooses,"

and the pig got up and quickly ran away!

Les Miserables Pt. 3

When Fantine fights back against an abusive customer, Javert, now stationed in Montreuil-sur-Mer, arrests her. Jean Valjean (who is revealed to be the mayor) soon arrives, and realizing his part in Fantine's circumstances, orders Javert to let her go and takes her to a hospital.

Soon after, the Mayor rescues a man pinned by a runaway cart and Javert is reminded of Jean Valjean (who he knew to be exceptionally strong). Javert, has been hunting Valjean for years for breaking his parole. However, Javert assures the mayor that Valjean has been arrested recently and will be in court later in the day. Unwilling to see an innocent man go to prison in his place, Valjean confesses his identity to the court—that he is the prisoner 24601—revealing the convict's brand on his chest as proof in the amazing song "Who Am I?" The lyrics truly reveals the dilemma and inner turmoil that Valjean is going through to do the right thing. Even though his life has been changed, he still must deal with his past. 

He thinks that man is me
He knew him at a glance!
That stranger he has found
This man could be my chance!

Why should I save his hide?
Why should I right this wrong
When I have come so far
And struggled for so long?

If I speak, I am condemned.
If I stay silent, I am damned!

Laugh at My Jokes, Please

I am always amused by studies that discover differences between men and women.  While the study mentioned in this article says that both men and woman want to find someone with a sense of humor, this means different things to men and women.

Studies of attraction show that women find a man more attractive and desirable when he is funny than when he is not. But, studies suggest that men value a sense of humor, but do not find a woman more attractive or desirable when she is funny.

I personally think that women who can be funny are very attractive, but hey, I may be weird. To me, there's nothing more appealing than a quirky sense of humor. But, I digress! The authors of the study try to explain the contradiction through the way that men and women define a "good sense of humor."

When women say that they want a man with a good sense of humor, they generally mean that they want someone who will both make them laugh and will laugh at their jokes. In contrast, when men say that they want a woman with a good sense of humor, they mean primarily that they want someone who will laugh at their jokes. 

I don't know why that last line makes me smile, but it does. Men, we are so vain! Speaking from my own personal experience, I know the fastest way to my heart is through your laugh. I am a sucker for a cute laugh...so, go ahead, laugh at my jokes, please...

Baby on Board

I wish I had this shirt to wear before the births of my four children!

Seven (somewhat) funny maternity shirts!

Bryan Duncan - Love Takes Time

There are many great Contemporary Christian artists and many more great songs being written today. However, I have always been partial to "old school" CCM (Contemporary Christian Music). I particularly have a fondness for Bryan Duncan. His website is here and his wikipedia page is here.

Bryan is a Dove Award and Grammy Award-winning singer who started his career in 1973 with the Jesus music group the Sweet Comfort Band. After the band split-up in 1984, Bryan started his solo career. Since then he has released numerous solo albums and sold over a million records.

What sets his music apart for me is its soulful sound. Some of his music is borne out of the struggles he has had in his life for which he has been very transparent. On his website in the behind the songs section, Duncan tells of how he found himself depressed and disillusioned with his life.

He writes:

I was sincere in my proclamation of the Gospel in song, though tainted with my own self-centeredness, my faith was genuine. But I forgot that from the beginning God saw that it was not good for man to be alone.

This song opens with “have you ever been lied to?” I was referring to the way I was flattered into believing that I was somehow immune to human frailties because I was doing “Gods work.”

The best lies lie in flattery! You believe it because you want to...I bought the idea that my work was enough. The sacrifice of time with those you love has additional requirements in truly seeing each other.

Here's the video of that song, one of my favorites.

Wean Yourself

I recently came across this poem titled “Wean Yourself” by Rumi, (translated by Coleman Barks). It’s a poem about leaving your comfort zone and taking chances.

Little by little, wean yourself.
This is the gist of what I have to say.

From an embryo, whose nourishment comes in the blood,
move to an infant drinking milk,
to a child on solid food,
to a searcher after wisdom,
to a hunter of more invisible game.

Think how it is to have a conversation with an embryo.
You might say, “The world outside is vast and intricate.
There are wheat fields and mountain passes,
and orchards in bloom.

At night there are millions of galaxies, and in sunlight
the beauty of friends dancing at a wedding.”

You ask the embryo why he, or she, stays cooped up
in the dark with eyes closed.

Listen to the answer.

There is no “other world.”
I only know what I’ve experienced.
You must be hallucinating.

It's a good reminder that even at 50, I need to be challenged to look at things from a different perspective. It is so easy for me to get set in my ways and to get comfortable with my life and philosophy and politics. I need to wean myself from the lessor things and to continue to grow in my understanding of the world around me.

It's a good word for all of us!

Classic Rush Vol. 1

What if trees acted like people?

Husky Highlights

It's no secret that I am a diehard Washington Husky football fan. I have been one since the 1970s when Don James took over the program. Although Husky football has a great tradition and had amazing success during the 70s, 80s, and 90s, the the last decade (thanks to Ty Willingham) has been tough. Now that Steve Sarkisian (aka Sark) has taken over, the Dawgs are on their way back to the top. In honor of what has been and what will once again be, I will be making a weekly post of Husky Highlights because, well...it's my Blog and I can post what I want!

So sit back and enjoy this highlight from the 1992 Rose Bowl where #2 Washington dismantles #4 Michigan in a quest for the national championship. After the win, the Dawgs would go on to share the 1991 National Championship title with the University of Miami. Sadly, since there was no BCS back then, the college football world was deprived of what would have been a great match-up between the two schools.

Languages of Love

During my separation and divorce I did a great deal of reading. Some of it was to help me heal and some of it was to help me understand what went wrong. One of the best books I read to help with the latter category was a book called the The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman.

The book had been around for awhile and I was vaguely familiar with the concepts before I started reading it. However, as I worked my way through the book it just made so much sense to me. The basic idea is that individuals have their own unique emotional needs and that they feel loved most when their partner can express their affection for them in a meaningful way (through a specific love language). After decades of marriage counseling, Dr. Chapman was able to to identify 5 key love languages which proved to be universal and comprehensive. Dr. Chapman asserts that everyone has a love language and will primarily identify with one of the five: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. You can read an overview of each of the 5 languages here and this article shows how the concept works in a practical way.

Yosemite Range of Light

This is a very cool time-lapse video of Yosemite National Park taken by Shawn Reeder over a two year period.

You can learn more here.

Les Miserables Pt. 2

In this second video we see that Valjean's life has indeed been changed and he has not wasted the mercy he had been shown. He's now the Mayor of Montreuil-sur-Mer and the owner of the town factory. We are also introduced to the character of Fantine. Through Fantine we see the harshness of life. She sings about her broken dreams and the struggle she has had in caring for her daughter alone. In fact, she has had to leave her daughter in the care of the conniving Thenardiers (who we will meet later).

Desperate for money, Fantine has to sell her locket, and her hair, before becoming a prostitute. When she fights back against an abusive customer, Javert, now stationed in Montreuil-sur-Mer, arrests her.

The three songs in this video are all wonderfully written and capture the times very well. "At the End of the Day," "I Dreamed a Dream," and "Lovely Ladies" are all memorable both lyrically and musically.

Losing Your Faith

A friend and high school classmate of mine recently posted two articles on his Facebook wall about Christians (and Pastors in particular) "losing their faith." Another one of my friends (and also a high school classmate) commented that she couldn't wait to read my response. Instead of getting into an unproductive back and forth on Facebook I wanted to share my thoughts in a blog post. You can find the first article here and the second here.

First, let me say that this story does not shock or surprise me. I think most people with a Christian background go through a crisis of faith in their life. I actually think it's a part of the process that God uses to prove whether or not we have a real faith. That's what Peter had in mind when he wrote:

⁶ In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. ⁷ These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire —may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. ⁸ Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, ⁹ for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls. 1 Peter 1:6-9

Scripture mentions several people who at one point-in-time professed to know and serve God but later left the faith, Hymenaeus and Alexander for example (1 Timothy 1:18-20).  This is nothing new. Not even for "Ministers." It happens.  

Is your Boyfriend A Vampire?

Because I am always trying to help out my lady friends. You just never know.

Les Miserables

One of the things that we tried to develop with our kids when they were growing up was a love for theater and especially musicals. My three younger children all participated in community theater and my second son actually graduated from college with a Bachelor's Degree in Theater Arts. He is currently pursuing a career in that field.

One of the musicals he auditioned for in Bakersfield was a youth version of Les Miserables (sometimes referred to as Les Mis). Until he was cast in the show, I knew virtually nothing about the musical, let alone the book upon which it was based. I'll never forget the first night I saw the show. I was mesmerized by the songs and I particularly appreciated the story arc. I am a sucker for redemption stories and I loved how Jean Valjean, despite his mistreatment at the hands of Javert, would one day be able to show mercy because he had been shown mercy. In fact, the two characters are illustrative of the blessings of mercy and the dangers of legalism.

If you are unfamiliar with the great story by Victor Hugo I would recommend you familiarize yourself with it via this movie which will help you to understand the flow of the musical and the characters much better.

I will be posting videos and making comments about the story over the next few weeks. I hope you will watch each of the video clips and follow along.

In the scene above we are introduced to Jean Valjean and given his back story. We also are shown the act of mercy that would forever change his life.

Romantic Comedy Top-Ten List

I spent the weekend rewatching numerous romantic comedies so that I could compile a list of my favorites. Other than giving me something to write about, I thought it also might help me get into the Valentines Day spirit. WRONG! Mostly what it did is remind my of how pathetic my love life is. Nevertheless, I pushed through the pathetic state of being to create this list of my favorite romantic comedies. As a disclaimer I want to state that this is not a list of my favorite romantic movies, but only of what some call RomComs. For example, not on the list are some of my favorites like the Notebook, Casablanca, Ghost and Dirty Dancing just to name a few. So given that proviso, here is a list of my Top-Ten favorite romantic comedies in reverse order.

#10 - Hitch

Why I love this movie? Because the good guy gets the girl! It doesn't always work this way in real life...most women seem to like the "bad-boys"...but the Kevin James character is not a bad boy...he is a very nice, down to earth guy...and he gets the girl! Plus, where else can you learn about the 90% rule?

I'm still waiting to have that last first kiss!

The Homeless Census

On any given night, America has more than 650,000 homeless people. During the course of a year, 1.6 million Americans will experience at least one episode of homelessness. We know these statistics because every two years the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development requires communities across the country to set aside a 24-hour period within the last 10 days of January to count the homeless.

The biennial Homeless Census is a point-in-time count that gives our community a snapshot of homelessness in our area. On January 26th and 27th, the Homeless Collaborative set out to count the homeless in Kern County. Over 180 volunteers from 40 different agencies were dispatched throughout the County's 8200 square miles to accomplish the task. Beginning with the shelter count on Wednesday night, teams of volunteers continued the next morning looking for individuals and families who spent the previous night on the street, or in a car, or in a park, or in an abandoned building or in any other place not meant for human habitation.

So why do we go to all this effort? For a number of reasons.

• It helps us to determine the extent of homelessness in our community
• It helps us to gather important demographic information regarding the homeless (how many women are homeless? Children? How many homeless Veterans do we have? etc.)
• It provides an opportunity for direct contact with this segment of the population
• It helps us to track trends and strategically plan to target specific services and housing opportunities for the homeless
• It positions us to apply for as much as $3.5 million annually in federal funding to provide new transitional and permanent supportive housing projects.

Saving My Life

Growing up I never had an issue with my weight. In fact, I was always on the smallish-side in school. I used to HATE class pictures because I was one of the boys that would get put in the front row. In high school I wrestled at 102 lbs my freshman year, and 115 lbs as a Sophomore. In the summer between my sophomore and junior years I started working at Miner's Drive-In, and over the next few years I did gain about 25 lbs (free Miner Burgers, what can I say?). Still, my weight was normal for my age and height (I am currently 5'7"...and yes I seem to have actually shrunk an inch-and-a-half since high school!). Even when I went off to college, my weight was still where it was supposed to be. So what went wrong? When did the weight gain begin? One word: Marriage!

Now, I am NOT blaming my marriage for my weight gain, I am only saying that it is when my issues and struggles with my weight really began. Due to some very poor choices while at Bible College, of all places, (and that is a whole other blog post), I found myself newly married living in Anaheim, California working a swing shift job at Kwikset Lockset Co., trying to figure out how I was going to support my new bride and a baby on the way!

Social Ministry and the Local Church Pt. 4

Public and Private Partnerships

In my final post on social ministry and the church I want to talk about public private partnerships in social work, specifically faith based agencies working in partnership with the government to help provide the safety net in our Country. For my previous posts on this issue see here, here, and here.

Before the mid 1990’s there was a real hesitancy among both the Christian community and the government to work together to help the poor and needy. Most concerns were over the so called issue of church/state separation. Unfortunately, this led to too many people falling through the cracks in the system. But things began to change, first with passage of the Welfare Reform Act of 1996 and then second, with the establishment of the White House Office of Faith Based and Community Initiatives early in the Bush Administration. Much of the literature on public/private partnerships focus on these two important events.

Charitable Choice. According to Donaldson and Carlson-Thies, welfare reform did three things. It shifted the focus of administrating welfare monies to state and local authorities. No longer would the Federal Government decide what the local welfare needs of a given area were, instead that would be up to those who were closer to the actual needs. Second, the welfare emphasis changed from writing checks to helping people become more self-supportive. Third, the government was encouraged to form partnerships with private charities and businesses. The section on private public partnerships became known as “Charitable Choice” (Donaldson & Carlson-Thies, 2003, 44-45).

A New Sermon Series

When I renewed my blog I stated that one of the reasons for blogging again was that I wanted a forum to share many of my old sermons to leave as a legacy for my family.

I have a second blog entitled The Approved Workman where many of my sermons have already been posted. I have decided to continue using that blog for all my sermons.

While reviewing that blog, I noticed that I have at least two sermon series that I previously started that I have not yet completed (Philippians and Joshua). As I have time, I will post the remaining sermons I have on those two books along with my new series I want to post on the book of James.

James has always been one of my favorite books of the Bible, especially because of its practical nature. It deals with many of the social issues that are still relevant for today. I realize many of you will not be interested in reading sermons, but I challenge you to do so and then to follow up with your own studies.

I have no claim to any special knowledge or spirituality. However, studying for these sermons was a blessing to me, I hope in turn they will be a blessing to you! I am just one sojourner on the road to understanding, I hope what I have learned will give you some light on your journey to the truth!

My introductory post can be found here.  

A Letter From a Birmingham Jail

In reading more on the "I Have a Dream" speech, I came across this letter from Dr. King written from the city jail in Birmingham, Alabama, where he was confined after being arrested for his part in the Birmingham protest conducted by "the Alabama Christian Movement for Human Rights and King's Southern Christian Leadership Conference against racial segregation by Birmingham's city government and downtown retailers."

The letter was addressed to eight white Alabama clergymen who on April 12, 1963, issued a statement in response to the protest titled "A Call For Unity". The clergymen acknowledged that social injustices existed but they argued in their statement that the battle against racial segregation should be fought solely in the courts, not in the streets.

God Looks at the Heart!

After to listening to Dr. King's I Have a Dream speech this morning, I thought of this verse. Dr. King had a dream that men and women would be judged by the content of their character not the color of their skin...and God agrees!

"...The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7b

The dialogue on the subject of race in this country is still too predictable and overheated. I believe we have made some headway on this issue, but we still have a long way to go. This is true not only of our country as a whole, but also of our churches as well. Sadly, some of the most segregated institutions remaining in our land are our churches. 

There are reasons for this of course, not all relating to prejudice. Most people that worship together do so because of several factors relating to music style, heritage, culture, type of preaching and denominational preferences. Race usually plays a role in where we worship only in the sense that we like to worship in the style, heritage, culture and even language we are familiar with...and there are definitely ethnic and cultural differences in worship. There is nothing inherently wrong with this, I do think however, that we miss out when we fail to stretch ourselves with respect to our worship environment.

I Have a Dream

UPDATE: Here is some interesting background on the development of the speech.

It's Politics

I created this blog back in 2005 so I could talk about things that interested me (i.e. religion, politics, sports and my family). I have always been fascinated by politics and in times past, even considered throwing my hat in the ring for local office. I first became interested in politics back in 1976 with the election of Jimmy Carter. I remember my first political debate was with a friend on the school bus. It was about who should be elected president, Carter or Ford. I also remember my Government class in High School. There I had my introduction to the concepts of left and right in politics (the whole left/right thing did not make sense to me at the time...I mean really, what is the difference between communism [left] and fascism [right]? The end result is the same). I can also remember that we were given an assignment dealing with one of the major public policy issues of the day. The handout had several policy recommendations from various political leaders. The recommendations from Ronald Reagan made the most sense to me. After that, I started becoming more interested in what the politicians were actually saying and what they believed "philosophically".

While my family mostly identified themselves as democrats, we experienced first hand the negative consequences that the economic policies of the Carter administration brought on our country. As a Contractor, my dad's business suffered greatly because of the high interest rates and the general malaise in the economy at that time. It devastated the housing market. So in 1980, I had the chance to vote in my first election. Based on what I had learned, I registered as a republican and voted for Ronald Reagan. During the 80s my own personal political beliefs solidified into what would be considered a conservative political perspective. Throw in my evangelical college education and my biblical worldview and you can see why I identified with the republican party. It was the only place I felt at home as both an economic and social conservative. While I am still a registered republican, I have always called myself a conservative first and a Republican second.

Texting for Seniors

Someone sent this to me and I thought I would share it with you since more and more seniors have embraced the technology of texting. This is not meant to be disrespectful to senior citizens...I myself will be eligible for AARP next year!

ATD: At The Doctor's
BFF: Best Friend Farted
BTW: Bring The Wheelchair
BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth
CBM: Covered By Medicare
CGU: Can't get up
CUATSC: See You At The Senior Center
DWI: Driving While Incontinent
FWBB: Friend With Beta Blockers
FWIW: Forgot Where I Was
FYI: Found Your Insulin
GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!
GHA: Got Heartburn Again
HGBM: Had Good Bowel Movement
IMHO: Is My Hearing-Aid On?
LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out
LOL: Living On Lipitor
LWO: Lawrence Welk's On
OMMR: On My Massage Recliner
OMSG: Oh My! Sorry, Gas.
ROFL... CGU: Rolling On The Floor Laughing... Can't Get Up
TTYL: Talk To You Louder
WAITT: Who Am I Talking To?
WTP: Where's The Prunes?
WWNO: Walker Wheels Need Oil
GGLKI (Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In)

Suddenly Single

Life is full of surprises, or so the old saying goes. No one can predict the direction their life might take, given all the twists and turns along that path. Obviously, no one thinks at the start of a marriage that divorce is in their future. Because of that, many people are caught off guard when it happens to them, I know I was!

So how do you respond when a 20 plus year marriage comes to an end? I mean after the crying, and the questioning, and the heartbreak and such...what do you do with your time when you find yourself suddenly single? I realize that the amount of time you have will be largely dependent on your age and the age of your children, your vocation and other factors. For me, I found that I had more time on my hands than I wanted.

Because of my divorce, my career was in flux (realistically you cannot remain the Pastor of Family & Care Ministry while your own marriage has fallen apart), so in the beginning, I had no place to go from 9-5 each day. 

Additionally, three of my four children were out of high school, and my youngest, while living with me was busy being an active high school student. Most of my friends were married and had their own lives. I was not yet ready to start dating and I am not a barfly. So what did I do? I spent a LOT of time by myself.

Think about it, all the things you were used to doing, like watching TV, or going to a movie or going out to dinner, you generally had a built in companion to do it with. Now it is just you. I have often joked with my friends that the loneliest words in the world are "Jim, party of one, Jim, party of one!" Yeah, I eat out too much!

Social Ministry and the Role of the Christian Community

Beyond the local church, what role should the corporate Christian community play in meeting the needs of the poor and helpless? By corporate Christian community I am referring to the various local churches and para-church ministries working together for a common goal. Frankly, this does not happen as often as it should and some might even call the phrase "Christian community" an oxymoron! However, when it does occur, two approaches have been favored.

The first approach is the denominational approach. The Mennonites serve as a good example of this concept. They have developed several service organizations in which the Mennonite churches share in the responsibility of supporting. These organizations include the Mennonite Disaster Service and the Mennonite Central Committee. In addition, the Mennonite churches practice what is commonly called “Mutual Aid.” Mutual aid is seen by many as primarily a ministry to church members only, however, some view it as a ministry to the community in general. Swartley and Kraybill write:

Mennonite mutual aid is a reciprocal responsibility, based on biblical teaching, to provide material aid to other church members who face special economic and physical hardships. Such help involves labor, services, goods, gifts, and payments in both spontaneous and organized forms at local and churchwide levels. (Swartley & Kraybill, 1998, 13)

Winfeld J. Fretz sees mutual aid as Christian love in action. He sees mutual aid as a means to share that love by, “…using the resources God has given us for His glory and the good of ourselves and our fellowmen. It is a way of limiting selfish desires for the good of the larger group or community of which we are members”. For Fretz, this larger group or community could refer to the civic community or even the nation (Swartley & Kraybill, 1998, 16).

Love, Honor and Cherish

In my previous post “A Vow is a Vow is a Vow” I talked about the reason that I believe so many marriages are in trouble and why some have already died! I expected that my rant might elicit some strong responses and it did. Some responses were expressed publicly on Facebook and many more privately via emails and texts. I was accused of “pontificating” and only picking on one side of the relationship equation. While every relationship is dependent on the efforts of two individuals, especially a marriage relationship, I focused my “rant” on the men for two reasons. First, I am speaking from my own experience as a man and a former husband. Second, I have recently witnessed far too many men either intentionally or unintentionally, fail to live up to their end of the marriage covenant and I truly believe that if men committed to love, honor and cherish their wives as they should there would be far fewer divorces in this country.

I know this will sound “old fashioned” and some may even consider it sexist, but I believe that it is the husband’s responsibility to set the tone for a loving, caring marriage. More than one of the females that commented on my post pointed this out. Yes, yes, yes, of course there needs to be a mutuality in the relationship but the man who honors and cherishes his wife, will find that she will gladly love and respect him in return.

Employing the Homeless

Here's an example of why I love working with the homeless service providers in Kern County. They are doing everything they can to help ensure that the homeless are able to be successful once they utilize the programs available to them.




Just a little context. Each year the US Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) requires our Continuum of Care (i.e. the Kern County Homeless Collaborative) to track the employment status when a homeless individual exits one of our programs. The national goal is 20%. That may seem low, but considering these folks have been homeless for long periods of time they often have poor employment histories, and many of them lack the proper documentation to be hired. Our service providers work hard to help them obtain, not only the proper documentation (i.e birth certificates, social security cards, driver's licences etc.) but to find employment. Due to programs like the one featured in the video, we were able to increase our employment rate from 12 to 18% in one year.

Congratulations to the Bakersfield Homeless Center for doing a great job and getting the Green Waste contract renewed!

A Word to My Male Friends or A Vow is a Vow is a Vow

When you stood before family and friends and pledged to marry your lovely Bride, the minister probably asked you something like this:

“Your Name Here, do you take this woman to be your wife; to live together in the holy covenant of marriage? Do you promise to love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health, and, forsaking all others, be faithful to her so long as you both shall live? If so answer I do.”

You may have also been asked to say something like this:

“I, Your Name Here, take you Her Name Here, to be my wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do us part.”

Now I am sure that at the moment you repeated those vows or consented to them by saying “I do” you really meant them. However, over the years the reality of those words has faded, now they are a mere memory tucked away somewhere in the deep recesses of your mind. Oh you still “live together” with her, and you still “love” her but you have slacked off on the “comfort,” “honor” and “keeping” parts…and to “cherish” her…not so much!

Social Ministry and the Local Church Pt. 2

In the twentieth century the evangelical church neglected the area of social ministry. Because of a desire to avoid theological liberalism and the social gospel, because of the prevalent Premillenial eschatology, and because of the growing dominance of the government in this area, the church by and large abdicated its responsibilities toward the poor and the needy.

According to Robert Lewis, Pastor of Fellowship Bible Church of Little Rock, two evangelical church models sprang up during the time of the latter half of the twentieth century. The first type of church he calls a “need-meeting church.” This church is focused on meeting the needs of its members, which in and of itself is not a bad thing. The problem is that this focus of the church can lead to an unhealthy fixation on itself. It, the church is all the matters. In this situation a toxic self-absorption can easily develop where there church exists solely to meet the needs of its own members. There is no thought of having a spiritual impact “beyond the borders of the church property”. This type of church has a social club feel to it where all the programs and activities are designed to meet its own self-serving needs (Lewis & Wilkins, 2001, 57).

The second type of church Pastor Lewis describes is the “success mentality” church. He writes:

Seeking conformity to a culture dominated by commerce, the “success” mentality is simple: the bigger, the better, size matters. Numbers count. More is what is always needed: more people, more facilities, more staff, more money. It is a mostly polite game of Christian Darwinism: the survival of the fittest, or the church with the greatest attendance. The goal is to be in the elite class known as the “biggest church in the city” or “Top10 in the denomination” or “megachurch.”  Such churches often spend increasing amounts of money and energy putting on elaborate events to draw more people in. While correctly pointing out that churches, when healthy, should be dynamically growing, pride often infuses the “success” church with a twisted irony: the church might be recognized nationally, but it often remains a stranger to its very own community (Lewis & Wilkins, 2001, 58-59).

How sad it is for a church, to be so focused on itself, that it has no time to focus on the community in which it lives.

Social Ministry and the Local Church

I will never forget the conversation. We had just finished a week of "revival" meetings at my home church. As good Baptists, we needed to follow up the service with something to eat. Our practice was to go to J.B.'s Big Boy restaurant in downtown Yakima. It was always a treat for us young guys (and future "preacher boys") to go to the restaurant and rub elbows with the Pastor and the visiting "Evangelist." During these after service rituals we would ask questions of these men that we looked up to and held in deep respect. During one of these question and answer sessions, we asked about the ministry of the church to the poor and needy and why we didn't do more to help them in a tangible way.  "That's not our responsibility" was the answer! I remember being shocked by their answer and responding with an incredulous "What?"

Yes it is true, both of these otherwise fine men insisted that it wasn't the responsibility of the local church to help meet the needs of the poor. For these men, the ministry of the church was to evangelize the lost, to get them into heaven, not to make their earthly lives any easier.

Sadly, that philosophy still exists in many churches today. How can otherwise caring and compassionate people be so blind to the needs of others, let alone the clear teaching of scripture? I would like to address those reasons over the next few weeks.

New Year's Resolutions

“A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other."

Resolution (Noun): [res-o-lu-tion]

1. The state or quality of being resolute; firm determination.
2. A course of action determined or decided on.
3. A formal statement of a decision or expression of opinion put before or adopted by an assembly such as the US Congress.  (American Heritage Dictionary)

For most of my life I have been fascinated by word meanings and word origins. I love word game puzzles and etymology has always been interesting to me (etymology is the study of the history of words, their origins, and how their form and meaning have changed over time). I have even been known to read the dictionary from time to time. I think this goes with the territory when you are a Pastor because any good sermon preparation will involve the study of key words in the text you are expositing.

D-I-V-O-R-C-E

I grew up listening to Country music (or Country & Western as it used to be called). I did so not by choice mind you, but it was the music my parents and grandparents listened to, whether at home or in the car, it was always on. Any time I hear a Conway Twitty or Dolly Parton song today it reminds me of the two week vacation we took my freshman year in High School. On the trip we listened to a couple of Conway and Dolly 8-tracks over and over and over and over again! Growing up I remember listening to other Country greats as well, like Merle Haggard, Buck Owens, Loretta Lynn, George Jones and Tammy Wynette.

Back to Blogging

I originally started this blog back in 2005 as a way to express my views on small town life in Wasco and to share stories and articles that were of interest to me. This of course was BF (Before Facebook). I enjoyed blogging at the time and it was a very therapeutic experience. I eventually quit posting due to various factors in my personal and professional life. I hope to share some of those reasons and talk about my experiences on this blog in the near future.

As I look back to 2005 a lot has changed in my life since then.